Dear Teen Connect,
I am just 17 and will be 18 soon. I am dating a man who is in his early 40s but doesnt look it. He and I get along quite well and he has been paying for my school since I was 15 years old. My mother doesnt interfere as long as she is comfortable I tell her everything.
Lately, he told me he has been going to see a counsellor with his wife as she wanted to get back with him. He didnt accept her terms and she didnt pursue reconciling. She wanted him to end the affair with me. She told him they came a far way to end it now.
The thing is law school is expensive and thats where I would like to go after sixth form and he promised to help me if I dont leave him.
Kayon Brown
Dear Kayon,
This man has helped you since you were 15 years old so its only natural you feel an attraction to him. However you are playing with fire. I think it is good that you managed to stay focused and didnt get pregnant. It is best to end the intimacy involved with this relationship and consider drafting a business arrangement with him in the presence of a third party for example an attorney for any monies this man may consider giving you to go to school.
Still there are other ways to get funding for school such as scholarships or even a loan from the Students’ Loan Bureau.
You have not mentioned his intentions beyond an affair with you, but you do mention attempts at reconciliation with his wife. Lets say she accepts an outside relationship, where does that put you. If he ends the relationship with her permanently and stay by you, will you and he consider getting married. Regarding the latter, you are better off waiting before you get too involved and certainly contemplating marriage at your age is out of the question.
Without adding complications, you and another person should sit with this man and talk things through. You both need to consider where yo both will be in say 5,10 or even 20 years from now.
Teen Connect
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